I am in a weird spot. The high of the referral is fading slightly, and there is plenty waiting to take up that place in my head. There is the longing to bring our baby home that becomes unbearable at times. There is the worrying about EVERYTHING! Our baby, his health, his location?, his happiness, his ability to adjust, the unknowns of travel, when will we get a court date, how will my other kids do, the need to organize and plan, but what and when, etc, etc. I have fallen down with the flu. I know that stress is not a friend when you are trying to stay healthy.
The holidays were a little surreal. Family and friends are very supportive and excited but I keep hearing "you mean you have to wait even longer now?" Yes. We have to wait longer now, knowing our babies face, name and that he is getting older everyday. We have to wait. What should I be filling my time doing? How can I be most productive and keep my emotions at bay? Just like everyone who has gone before us, I knew this would be the hard wait, but now I feel the weight of it all. Now the wait is real.
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We have named our son! We had actually picked out this name very early on - but now we have decided to go with it. His birth names will be middle names (can't share those yet) and his first name will be Amani, which means "peace".
Here are a few holiday photos. We hope that everyone had an amazing holiday and that the new year showers more blessings on everyone!
Hollie
4 comments:
Sorry to hear about the flu. And the wait must be agonizing! But it will all be worth it when they put Amani in your arms!! Hopefully, it won't be much longer...
I love his name.
Happy New Year,
Julie
i so know what you mean. i am so worried about our little guy's health. i guess it is the whole "out of my control" thing. i know he is well taken care of, but i just can't stand not being the one taking care of him. plus, silas is little...like tiny, so i worry about him getting sick when he is so tiny!
hopefully, we won't have to much longer until we can take care of thier every need!
I completely relate to the feeling that you should be doing lots of things but aren't quite sure when or exactly what. I love his name!
Laura
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